The Laundry List of NBA Trades

I'm going to attempt a list of all the trades from the NBA's trade deadline this afternoon. They came in a flurry. If I forget one or two or mess one up, let me know. Here we go...

1. New Orleans traded scoring two-guard Marcus Thornton to the Sacramento Kings for Milwaukee native Carl Landry.

Trade works for both sides. The Hornets add frontcourt depth and the Kings get a scorer alongside 'Reke Evans.


2. Baron Davis and the LAC 1st round pick to Cleveland in exchange for "Mo" Williams and Jamario Moon.

Donald Sterling is mean. I gotta believe Baron is saltier than a volcano burrito from Taco Bell. He has to leave his hometown and Blake Griffin to go to freakin' Cleveland and play with Antawn Jamison and Anderson Varejão. Zoiks.

3. Captain Kirk Hinrich and Hilton Armstrong to the Hawks for Mike Bibby, rookie Jordan Crawford, Maurice Evans and a first round draft pick.

The only reason I care about this trade is Jordan Crawford. He's a rookie and has plenty of upside with the John Wall and the Wizards.

4. Hasheem Thabeet to Houston for Shane Battier.

Thabeet gets to return to the place he called home at the beginning of his stay in America. Otherwise this is just a cap move.

5. Jeff Green and Nenad Krstic to Beantown for Nate Robinson and Kendrick Perkins.

Makes little sense for Boston to give up their center for an athletic forward and a clumsy center, neither of whom can rebound and play good defense. They may have surrendered the Eastern Conference championship.

6. Gerald Wallace to the JailBlazers for Joel Przybilla, Dante Cunningham and two first round picks.

G-Force gets to go to a pretty solid team and contribute for the playoffs. MJ looks to the future for the Bobcats who just gave up their best player while vying for a playoff spot in the East.

7. Semih Erden and Luke Harangody to Cleveland for a second round pick in 2013.

Whoopdee-doo. The Cavs got some size.

8. Aaron Brooks to Phoenix for Goran Dragic.

I can taste the end of Steve Nash in the Valley of the Sun. While it saddens me, maybe he'll go to a better team before his time runs out.

9. Nazr Mohammed to OKC for D.J. White and Morris Peterson.

D.J. White was  GOD DAMN BEAST in college but I didn't think he was still in the league. Same goes for Mo-Pete for that matter. The Thunder have a ton of size now with Perk and Nazr.

10. Marquis Daniels was traded to Sacramento, but I have no idea what Boston got in return for him.


Initially, Daniels was expected to veto the trade but now he's going with it.


-Mikko

DOY: Retro Style

This goes back to the 2008 NBA Playoffs where then Golden State Warriors point guard Baron Davis turns Utah Jazz forward "into a screensaver" as ESPN's Mike Tirico puts it. Davis gets T'd up for pulling his shirt up, but it sure was a great moment.



Amazing.

-Mitch

Prelude to a Basketball

"Prelude to a Basketball"
- a poetry slam by Baron Davis -

Oh beautiful ball
Orangest of balls
Filled with air
But still it falls

Rounder and roundest
The perfect of spheres
Fear not the basketball
Be of its ears

Channeled and smooth
The ball, it shall bounce
But never again
The ball, I renounce

We Are Clippers

"We Are Clippers"
- a poetry slam by Baron Davis and Eric Gordon -
We Are Clippers
Not by choice
But by calling
(Except Baron -
he chose)

We Are Clippers
Through thick
and through thin
Through loss
and through win
But when?
When will we win?
We Are Clippers
We win when?

We Are Clippers
We grow beards
The beards, they are weird
That's what I've hear-ed
But the word
It is 'heard'
We Are Clippers
We need clippers

We Are Clippers
We Are Clippers
Clippers, we are

A Joke

Sometimes I don't know what to post here. Sometimes I have nothing to post. I scour the internet, looking for pictures of Tony Parker acting really French, but nothing turns up. I get sad, because I can't bring you people happiness. When that sort of thing happens, I just go to my room, lock the door, and record an entire album using AutoTune. That's what we do in the 21st century.

Today is one of those days. So in lieu of unearthing my massive collection of mid-90s NBA public service announcements, I'll just post a joke.

Even NBA Players Can't Wait for the Season to Start

Eric Gordon and Baron Davis Wear Fat Pants

Phone rings

Pete Serrano, equipment manager: Hello.

Elgin Baylor: Hey, Pete. It’s Elgin.

PS: Not too bad. Just finished up that knee sleeve that’ll cover Shaun’s scars. Those things are gross.

EB: Oh, excellent. That’ll help keep the fans in the seats. Anything we can do to not terribly horrify the fans is a win in my book. And we need wins, am I right?!

PS: We do need wins, that’s for sure. Anyway, what’s up?

EB: Well, we just drafted Eric Gordon. We’re going to need some massive shorts.

PS: Are you serious? Eric Gordon from Indiana?

EB: Yeah, that’s him.

PS: Geez, Elgin. I don’t know where I’m going to find shorts that big. I mean, yeah, you can find some big shorts, but they’ll come down to his ankles. I guess I can see if the Bulls still have the pattern to Khalid El-Amin’s shorts, but that’s going to be a shot in the dark.

EB: I would have suggested Priest Lauderdale, but you’d get the A-line skirt thing going on.

PS: How do you know about A-line skirts?

EB: Project Runway.

PS: Ooooh, great show. So, anything else I can do for you?

EB: Yeah, there’s one more thing. We just signed Baron Davis. He’ll need some big shorts too.

PS: You’re killing me!

EB: Hey, Donald’s actually spending. I’m not passing that up.

PS: You’re right. But this is going to kill our fabric budget. NBA mesh goes for 75 bucks a yard. Between Gordon and Baron, that’ll be, like, 900 dollars.

EB: Luckily Shaun’s really skinny. Just don’t skimp on Kaman’s shorts. That’s just wrong to even think about.

PS: Yeah, that makes my man parts hurt picturing it.

EB: …

PS: …so, um, I’ll get to work on those fat shorts.

EB: Thanks, Pete.

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