11.30.07 Jazz vs. Lakers (The debut of Kyrylo Fesenko)

1st Half

Move over Paul, I have a new man crush...and he goes by Kyrylo Fesenko, or Fes in my living room (and everyone elses, just wanted to make it sound like I made it up).

Whistle Nuts and Booner can vouch for me that I was a fan of this guy well before tonight's game. What a great first game for the new Jazz man. Henry Abbott of ESPN's True Hoop column loves this guy and deserves a lot of credit for bringing him to the forefront of NBA writing spotlight. The guy is an interviewers dream. He provides awesome quotes and fresh humor. And the best part is, he has the game to back it up. He will be starting in Utah within 2 years. No need to resign Memo. We have our defensive big man right here. I really felt like a father watching his son play. I don't have kids, but Fes is as close as it gets for me right now.

I am blown away by AK right now. Talk about showing up.

Deron needs a big game on national TV to make up for his lame showing against the Hornets. He's off to a great start tonight.

2nd Half

I am sick of Kobe's face. Not only because I hate him, but I'm just really sick of looking at it. I swear that guy gets 50 close up camera shots a game. Honestly, I just get bored looking at it. Did Giricek go and get a part time job working the Double Shot booth at Lagoon? Because I haven't seen him for a while. How about Paul Millsap playing center. Love it. I bet it makes other tall centers feel like duxes. Getting out rebounded by a 6'7 guy. I bet they go back to their bench and justify getting out rebounded "dude, he's got long arms though".

Here is a picture of Kobe doing a double fisted pelvic thrust to some platinum blond in the crowd wearing a number 8 Kobe jersey. "It's okay baby, the only number you need to worry about is 911". Side note: I loved the boos the crowd was giving to Fish every time he touched the ball. Hey Fisher, we all see right through your lies. Not only are you bad at lay-ups, but you couldn't even look into the camera at your press conference and just tell the truth. Pathetic. (I'm not bitter, just open about my feelings.)

The Jazz obliterated the Lakers tonight. Keys to the game:

1. Holding Kobe under 30

2. Playing Fesenko more than 5 minutes

3. AK-47 and his 20 pts

4. AK-47 and his 11 assists

5. AK-47 and his 11 rebounds

6. Jazz had 14 steals (AK-47 had 6)

Not much else to say other than my Jazz Affair is in full force right now.

Final Score: Jazz 120 Lakers 96

Number of proud tears I shed for Fes tonight: 3

Yawn.....

Umm, was it just me or was that game last night completely boring? I bet there were only 54 fans in the stadium. It was so quiet that you could hear every word Boozer said all game. At least we won, that is all I have to say about that game.

Tony Allen being a dux

I couldn't link the video in the comment section of Booners post, so here it is.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Le8rMnL56w8

This is what I did today...

The car business was booming today as you can tell, so I decided to share some of my favorites with my fellow bloggers. Does watching millionaire athletes miss layups and dunks ever get old?



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cvOm7dPS0Uw&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aFChT7ovsvU&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fsO9Zzf5bDY&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=85cZB9O_LkE&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rxLmgmQSVCw&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yEmTmWO8X3o&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4p665PQ_NS0&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G-mNe9nYicY&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O3fWwtB9GJ4
The Remix
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m43sRhRZUWI&feature=related

11.26.07 Jazz @ Knicks

1st Half

I hate the Knicks. How are we down even though we are shooting the lights out? Oh, because the Knicks seem to have sold their soul to the Devil. Why is it that these lurps can come out of the gates and shoot the ball like this? I wonder how many yards of fabric it takes to make one Zach "Fat Head" Randolph headband? Probably a small herd of sheep.

2nd Half

I really hate the Knicks. This game had heartbreak written all over it. You know when your team comes storming back and you really think they are going to pull off a sweet comeback? I never once had that feeling this entire game. I honestly could have told you that we were going to lose by 2-6 points prior to tip off. Deron played incredible. Boozer did his part. The whole team honestly played pretty good basketball. The Nipperbockers just made so many of those floating running floater runners that even Brock was jealous. Overall, we lost that game thanks to two turnovers with 90 seconds to play. Poor ball management...but I still dream all my dreams in Jazz Blue. (sigh) Go Jazz.

Final Score: Jazz 109 Knicks 113

Number of times I said to myself outloud "I hate the Knicks"? 22

Reason #1,013 I hate the knicks (see below)

Jazz on the Move...

So here I am again posting something you have already seen, but at least I'm posting something right. I am trying to decide if I am going to watch another Jazz game again because I have not watched any of the last five games and what have they done....five "w's." In fact, Friday night Hammy and I were watching the game via ESPNEWS and I guarantee you have never seen two people more interested in score updates than Hammy and I. For a moment in time we felt like we were living in the pre-television days where you had to sit by the Radio to get your Sports Fix.
So, anyhow, on with the Rankings. I think we are exactly where we should be. I would be lying if I thought we could take any of the teams above us. We may have a shot in a series, but I don't know. I was at the Magic game last year and watched Dwight Howard make us look like the Bingham Bulls did when we played that team from Oakland. Remember that C.B.? Ewww. Sorry man. That was low. Especially considering my total amount of playing time with the Bulls was equal or less than your time trying out for the team. So please, forgive me. We will always have that '86-'87 Bingham B-Team though. In fact I just researched the stats from that year, here are our personal stats:

Booner: Pos. QB./Long Snapper
Pass Attempts: 13
Completions: 6
Total Yards: 22
Rushing Attempts: 7
Rushing Yards: 2
TD's: 1
Extra Points: 1
2 Point Conversions: 1
Hand offs to C.B. Jack: 48
Fumbled Handoffs to C.B. Jack: 4
Cold Sores in Team Picture: 1
QB Rating: 78.3

C.B. Jack Pos. RB, WR, Special Teams
Rushing Attempts: 48
Rushing Yards: 380
Rushing TD's: 17
Kickoff Return Average: 48 Yards
Punt Return Average: 37 Yards
Combined Return TD's: 8

Our Record: 11-0. Why we didn't go places in life I don't know. Maybe we would be a lot more successful in life if we knew at the end of the day we were going to get Orange Wedges and a Sunny D. Anyhow, here was my whole purpose in this Post:

http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/powerranking?season=2008&week=4&lpos=spotlight&lid=tab3pos1

Detroit is now a Jazz town!

Good game by the Jazz yesterday morning. Its always weird to have to wake up early to watch a Jazz game. Do NBA players even know how to set an alarm clock to wake up that early? Can you see CJ Miles struggling for a good 30 minutes to figure out how early he needs to wake up to catch the team bus before he calls one of the trainers and bribes him to come do it for him? Speaking of CJ, he is now the resident goofy pre-game handshaker for the Jazz. It cracks me up to see him waiting at the scorers table for Booz and D-Will before the game so he can get in a little hand slap with them. Booz and D-Will probably think he is one of the ball boys. I am sure that CJ likes to think that he is the reason for Boozer shooting 17 of 20. Speaking of 17 for 20, I dont think that I have ever made 17 of 20 layups in warm-ups by myself before, that was just an amazing performance by the Booz.

Good game for the Jazz though, I think that is 7 of the last 8 against Detroit now. The Pistons are quickly becoming one of the more over-rated teams in the league. Is Chauncey Billups even that good? He never plays well against the Jazz. I think that the press can stop calling the Pistons championship contenders as well, they are going to get hamered by the Celtics or the Magic in the playoffs. This was the hard game on the trip so nothing less than 2 more wins is acceptable.

When were the Jazz going to tell us that D-Will hurt his toe and that is why he was playing like D-bag for the last two weeks? I know they keep it quiet so the other teams don't try and take advantage of it, but we put out an Amber Alert on the dude and all along he was hurt. We need to come up with a good nick-name for Ronnie Price, I love that he is taking all of Giricek's minutes. I am sure Jerry was thinking, "How can I get the team to cut down on its turnovers? Hmmm.... I know, take Giricek out for the game and that will eliminate 5 traveling calls that come at the worst time possible." I want to see Price, Brewer and AK on the floor together just so we can be the most athletic team in the league for a few minutes.

The Price Is Right!!!

Not much to say except, the bench looked gooooooooood! I love Price. I didn't realize he had such a good shot. Hart actually looked pretty good. I've always been a Jason Hart guy though.
Hopefully you all caught the post game interview with Boozer. Brownie asked him if he liked the way the they played tonight, rather then the way they played against the kings. Boozer " Yeah, They kicked are ass" Then he looks at the camera and says " Excuse me, They whipped are butts" Then they sent it back up to D.J. and the boys, who could barely contain themselves from laughing. It was classic. If you have it on tivo you should watch.

One more thing, Did you see memo's lurpy ass not even put his hands up for the rebound and the ball hit him right on the head. I could not stop laughing. Memo sucks, but he will continue to shoot ever time he touches it.

Interest in Jazz hits an all-time low...

...and Salt Lake City has fewer Mormon's than ever. Ewwwww. But really, the Jazz have me sick, in fact, they brought my shingles back. Well, it was either that or the stray Cat named Shingers we took in. Hey, 'tis the season.
Anyhow, sorry, not much to say about the Jazz right now but they can make 25% of it up to me with a win over the Nets tonight. My guess is Jason Kidd is feeling so bad for D-Will right now that he will take it easy on him.
The only good news I have, if you want to call it good news is that we didn't slip out of the rankings like I thought we would after losing to Troy "Pinch & Roll" Murphy and the Panties, I mean Pacers. Here is where we ended up:

http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/powerranking?season=2008&week=3

Oh wait, I do have even better news for Whistle Nuts and all the BYU homers out there, BYU cracked the BCS at #25 this week. Nice work. If they get past the Utes this weeks that should be good enough to land them in the Playtex "Who gives a Rats" Bowl. (Course where would that leave the Utes?:(

Anyhow, Go Jazz. (I say that with as little enthusiasm as possible.)

11.17.07 Jazz @ Pacers

Mike Dunleavy scores one of his nine lay ups.

Danny Granger scores one of his seven dunks.


Jerry says "Up Yours..." to the refs.

Final Score: Jazz 97 Pacers 117

Minutes we actually paid attention to during the second half: 3

Have you Seen this Man?

....if you have, please let him know the Jazz need him to have any chance at winning.

Love, Ron Boone

P.S. On an unrelated note, have you heard the news about Barry Bonds?

11.16.07 Jazz @ Cavs

1st Half:

Due to the lack of athletic centers in this game. We had a horizontal jump ball. Rather than throwing it up, the ref had these two lurps start at halfcourt and he rolled it towards the hoop. Whoever got it won the "tip". Z won as you can guess.





Jazz are playing well and have had a lead up to 7 pts. I hate the Arena Announcer at the Q. He was probably Little Bow Wow's backup vocal and when Bow Wow hit puberty and his voice changed, the guy got screwed. Why has the NBA gone so thug, even in their announcing.


(I do have a great echo voice if there are any VP's of Arena Voice reading the blog.)



2nd Half:



Let's cover this half in pictures.

Jazz are playing well out of the half. We seem to have a comfortable lead of 4-6 pts. I wish Deron would get his assist game going. Ronnie brewer has now been blocked by Ilgauskus 8 times (a pretty official guess). Boozer is coming on strong as always. I imagine the Cavs would be really good if they had been able to keep him. Although it was nice to see that graphic that showed he has played more games as a Jazz man than a Cavs man. He is officially a Jazz man.




This shot is when Boozer was called for a foul on Lebron after Boozer patted him on the butt after Lebrons layup went in. Hey this is the NBA man, gotta be thinking about continuation.











Here is Boozer and Deron laughing at the way Lebron gets calls. Here is Lebron being a dux. Nothing new. Lebron could probably average 39 pts a game if he could bring up that 64% FT shooting. Look at the way Deron is asking him "Dude I want to be a superstar too. Any tips?" Deron will be making that same Lebron face by 2nd quarter of tonights game.







Here is Paul Millsap thanking the ref for not calling a foul on him as he watched Lebron get another layup. I think that Cavs fan just stuck a $20 in the refs pocket. That or he wanted a free handful of junk. I think they just called a blocking foul on Mark Eaton as Lebron took a shot.






Final Score: Jazz 94 Cavs 99
Number of conversations the boys paid attention to and finished at dinner: 1 (Gentry and The Hills conversation)

Sad Jazz Fan

Memo is the most frustrating jazz man to watch play besides Collins ,and Hart. Nothing irritates me more then his lurpy ass size 17's stepping on the three point line. His inability to create a shot and his shoot every time I touch the ball attitude.
Keys to this game success will be.
1. D-Will not trying to make every pass a highlight reel.
2. Gordon planting his feet before making a move to the basket. He travels eveytime he tries to go to the hoop.Pass or shoot!!!
3. Go to Boozer as often as possible.
4. Make layups
We need a win tonight before we drop to 25th in the Hollingers power rankings.
Go Fight Win

Jazz V. Cavs the sequel

Derron Williams needs to snap out of his current funk. The last few games he has been shooting the ball horribly and his assists are way down as well. I wonder if has been hooking up with Robert Whaley after games again. THis just in, LeBron is good. I still say he is juicing though. At least the Jazz did not fold in this game, they had a bad 4th quarter, but it seemed like they keep their energy up, the shots were just not falling. Too many missed lay-ups and open jumpers. I feel like I need to say something nice about Jason Hart now because of how much we were killing him earlier in the year so here goes - He sure does a good job throwing that cell phone to the corner of the screen for the "Keys to the game" segment. The dude never messes that one up, its always right on the money. I am little confussed on why they don't have him throw a set of keys though, it would make more sense that way, oh well. The Jazz need to win tonight and the road trip will be a success.

11.14.07 Jazz @ Raptors

1st Half
Where was Boozer in the 1st quarter?
Oh, there he is scoring 13 in the 2nd quarter.

2nd Half
This picture sums up my blog. Jazz barely squeeze one out in Toronto. Nice job Jazzercizers.





Final Score: Jazz 92 Raptors 88

Minutes it took me to blog this post: 1.5

Deron takes home the NBA.com Play of the Day
http://broadband.nba.com/cc/playa.php?content=video&url=http://boss.streamos.com/wmedia/nba/nbacom/pod/pod_071114.asx&video=blank&nbasite=nba

Unrelated Quote of the Day

I know this has nothing to do with the Jazz but I saw this on www.cnnsi.com and had to laugh at what Phil Jackson said. I know there are a lot of Phil Jackson haters in Jazz nation but come on, give him a little credit here:

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2007/basketball/nba/11/14/jackson.comment.ap/index.html

K-Fes on his new home with the Utah Flash

Here is possibly the best article ever. Khrylo Fesenko (the Jazz second round draft pick) will be playing for the Utah Flash. Here is what he has to say about the situation (real quotes):

When someone from the Flash asked Fesenko what Ukrainians eat, his reply was a playful slam along the lines of, "Worms and short men who ask annoying questions."

"I like Denny's because I love eggs, and when I know that I can eat eggs all day long, I was really surprised, and I'm already love Denny's," Fesenko said. "It is healthy. It's not fast food, so everything is good."

You just have to read this article for yourself. Pay close attention to his quotes. He is quickly climbing my list of favorite Jazz players.

http://deseretnews.com/article/1,5143,695227477,00.html

Millsap sent to the D-League. Will play for the Utah Flash

It's official. John Millsap will be in a Utah Flash uniform this upcoming season. Nobody will be more proud than our own blogger Ron Boone. Booner is currently the VP of Marketing for the J.Millsap Fan Club.

Here is John's personal website: http://www.jmillsap.com/ (I'm serious. Check out the photos section.)

I imagine a conversation similar to this one:

John: Hey Paul, you think I should get one'a dos sebwites...i mean websites?
Paul: Are you asking me for money again?
John: You know I'm good fo it. Aight? Hey momma....
Mom Millsap: Yes suga pie
John: You still got those clippings from the paper when I was in high school and tearing it up at University of Texas-San Antonio? I's gonna put dem on my new word wide wep pages.
Mom Millsap: Sure do suga.
John: Paul, can I borrow some lettuce (cash) to buy a scanner?
Paul: Are you asking me for money again?
John: You know I'm good fo it. Aight? Hey momma can you go wif me to the office depot?
Mom Millsap: Sure thing suga.
Paul: Please don't embarass me anymore John. Take off that Jazz jersery and quit signing my name.
John: Who you tripping Paul? Boy I gonna be tearing it up at da Flash, and real soon I gonna get mine. And it's you gonna be axing me fo lettuce (money)!

I could go on and on. This family need a reality show as of yesterday! Can you imagine the conversations between big brother and little brother? We need to get with Good Things Utah and get those two on the show. Talk about a tear jerker.

Does Chris Bosh Scare Anyone Else?

Question: Who would win a fight between the two Raptors below?

57% said the Raptor above and a 43% sided with the Raptor below.

The fact is, they are both false. So who wins?

The Jazz. 107-95.

Let's do this!

Love,

Booner!

From Bill Simmons

This is too funny to not pass along. Quote from Bill Simmons talking about Zach Randolph and Eddie Curry of the Knicks: "Reason No. 12,356 why I love the NBA: The Curry-Randolph combo marks the first time in NBA or WNBA history that a team has started two C-cups at the same time."

Boozer Quote

I love this quote from the Trib today, I think that it shows that the Jazz are in a really good state of mind right now.

Boozer had 15 points in the first quarter, hitting elbow jumpers and bank shots and scoring around the basket. The scouting report, which Boozer said he never read, described him as coasting on defense. Boozer responded by knocking away a pass and stuffing Shareef Abdur-Rahim in the opening period.

"I'm telling you, I'm getting better defensively and our team's getting better defensively and that's what we're going to continue to do,'' Boozer said. "They can have any scouting report they want to, but they've got to come beat us."

D-Will vs. CP3

It seems that the know-it-alls over at ESPN have finally decided to give our boy some props. Check out today's daily dime talking about Darren and Chris Paul- http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/dailydime?page=dime-071113.

Found this quote from David Thorpe as well:

"On the downside, I think Utah is a backup point guard from competing for the NBA title. I'm not suggesting Jason Hart can't do the job, I just don't know if he can. His play Monday was encouraging."

It feels good to be ahead of the curve and recognizing that the Jazz have a major weakness in that backup position. To be fair though, Hart has looked a little better over the last two games, but I am worried that what we saw last night might the best he can give us and that will not cut it in the playoffs.

A few stats to chew on for the day -

R. Brewer Stats
#2 in the steals at 3.0 per game
#7 in FG

D. Williams Stats
#3 in Assists at 10.0 per game
#36 in FG % (#28 in 3 pt. FG%)
#38 in scoring per game

C. Boozers Stats
#6 in scoring per game
#9 in rebounds
#11 in FG %

AK's stats
#7 in blocks
#14 in assists
#42 in steals
#44 in Rebounds

If only Memo would decide to show up and play a little this year. Basically our starters, minus Memo are all top 7 or better in at least one catagory and top 50 in at least one more. AK is simply toying with the league right now, it is silly. He has to be considered one the top 10, maybe top 5 players in the league. You could also consider D-will top 10 player in the league as well right now. Boozer would be on the bubble of that list for me because he needs to get a little better on D, but he is for sure a top 5 offensive player. Ronnie could end up on one of the All-NBA defensive teams sometime in the near future for sure.

Good times all around for the Jazz right now.

11.12.07 Jazz vs. Kings

1st Half

Despite the Kings 2-4 record, I am still really worried about this game. The Kings have won 5 of the last 6 against the Jazz. Remember last year when they came back from like 38 points down in the fourth to beat us? I do. We all do. It was comforting to know that Bibby and Crazy Ronald will not be playing. But that just meant some other guys was going to be the Jazz Killer for the night. Jazz need good starts and they are getting one tonight.

Boozer is an animal. For real, I wonder what kind of DNA that guy has pumping through his veins.

Giricek just hit a three from 10 feet behing the line, with a guy in his face, with the clock running down. Total luck shot, but you would never know it by looking at his face. He simply ran back down the court with a snooty Abercrombie model look like (In a crummy russian/european accent) "VVhat? I zuzed to do dat in my countrrry every zingle game...iz no biggy deal." It was awesome.
Here is a sweet movie of Giricek winning a stuffed animal at Lagoon for his girl.


Look at dudes bandana. He is gangsta pure and simple. I can't stop thinking "you play for the Jazz and you went to Lagoon with a wife beater and a freaking white bandana..." I am really laughing out loud right now (lol for your computer nerds). How come Giricek can come in and score 12 in the quarter and then not see playing time for the rest of the night. Random ol' J-slo coaching.

It seems like the Jazz are playing a high school charity game right now. Giving the Kings just enought room to not slit their wrists. There was just a sequence in which AK blocked a shot D-Will threw a full court pass, Memo missed a shot, it was a volleyball rebound that went to AK, he gave it back to Memo like "frrrend, pleased, try shot again", Memo missed again, another volleyball layup where Boozer gets the ball fakes out the three defenders around him on a simple pump fake, and simply tosses it off the glass for two points. They are literally playing with the Kings.

2nd Half

Jazz are really sticking it to the Kings now. Deron is pretty much non-existent this game. No fears though, Hitman Hart is having a career night (7 points in the third quarter). Watch Hart play defense, he looks like one of the BHS Girl Basketball players sliding out along the three point line during warm-ups (Congrats to Rand for having the all-time most intimidating and weird warm up).

Kings are fighting back, but as long as Bibby is on the bench, no one is worried. Did you see Bibby on the sideline? Brother has some hair. Not a good look for him. I think Deron is trying to bring the crappy too short for a white guy and too long for a black guy hair back. Deron will have an official bald spot by the 2009-2010 season.

Ronnie Brewer is simply amazing. I know there are a couple of guys on here who would happily let their wives surrogate a child on his behalf (Do you not see his little mexi/cuban/asian mustache?). I love his intensity. He really does bring it all the time he is on the court. He is in love with the 'fake like your turning to run up the court to play defense and quickly turn to steal the ball' move. Perhaps that is why I am in love with him. I would not be running to Fanzz to buy his jersey though. Jazz won't have the cash to re-sign him. I hate to think about three years down the road with this team. It makes me sad, so let's not worry about that right now. Jazz are rolling and should sweep this upcoming 3 game road trip.

Final Score: Jazz 117 Kings 93 (under 100, that is an accomplishment for our D right now)

Number of references to the "Kings Scouting Report" by Bolerjack: 14 (not including the 12 in the post game show)

Ronnie Brewer-Steal of the Night (as per nba.com)
http://broadband.nba.com/cc/playa.php?content=video&url=http://boss.streamos.com/wmedia/nba/nbacom/sotn/sotn_071112.asx&video=blank&nbasite=nba

Power Rankings/Kings Preview

I realize you have all seen this, with the exception of Whistle Nuts who has time for one website and one website only and that is our blog. (I think I am OK to go ahead and award him for the Blogs biggest fan right now. It's about 11 months pre-mature but I'm going to pull a Joe Glenn and guarantee he will be at year end as well.)


Anyhow, what I was trying to get to was this:


http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/powerranking?season=2008&week=2&lpos=spotlight&lid=tab3pos1


This weeks power rankings are out via ESPN and I think we should all be happy about it. To climb five spots in one week is not too bad. Good week for the Jazz and we can start this week of right with a "W" tonight against C. Webb and the Kings....what's that? No more C. Webb? That's too bad, that's the only reason I bought tickets. Oh well, they have Brad Miller, doesn't Boozer's Hammy have his Jersey? As long as we can keep K. Martin in check, we should win without to much drama. Three Predictions:



1. Jazz Win 114-101

2. Brad Miller attacks Jarron Collins

3. The attack on Jarron Collins leads to the signing of the one and only......


Ben "Hand Lotion" Handlogten

Thoughts on the Grizz v. Jazz

Dear Memphis,

At least you have good BBQ restaurants.

Love,

The Utah Jazz

Holy cow, that game reminded me of an NBA Live video game. The Jazz did what ever they wanted and the poor Grizz just could not keep up. That win helped keep the Jazz the highest scoring team in the league at 111.1 points per game. We out-scored them in every quarter of the game. We now have the largest average margin of victory in the league as well at 7.3 points per game.

Um, are we still being coached by Jerry Sloan? Because his players ae throwing ally-oops, making behind the back passes and dunking the ball with authority. What's next, headbands? The best thing to come out this game was they finally held someone below 100 points. Granted, it was the Bingham Miners JV team they were playin against, but the defense looked a lot better. Pau Gasol is officially the most overated player in the league.

11.11.07 Jazz vs. Grizzlies

Best Friends Forever

1st Half

"Get your layups people, get your free layups". The Jazz are finally getting the points in the paint like they should. I am a little shocked at Pau (worse name in the NBA) Gasol's lack of defense. Our front court is destroying Memphis right now.

The Memphis coach is Mark Iavaroni. I witnessed a horrible pregame interview with Thurl Bailey talking with his old teammate. I was impressed with some of the old video of Iavaroni playing with the Jazz...until they showed his stats: 3.2 pts per game. Honestly?

That puts him in the same category as Jose Ortiz (2.9 pts per game)

Jazz are clicking on all cylinders. Andrei has offically decided to show up this season. I get super giddy when I think about how good the Jazz can be when he plays like this. His behind the back pass to Boozer was sick. That has to be the assist of the season so far. Jazz just put up 62 in the half...love it.

2nd Half

Hart just missed two shots, followed by a miss on the free throw line when Booner says "Here's a guy who shot 89% from the free throw line last year." That was when I went to the kitchen to find the sharpest knife I could to make the pain quick and fast...suddenly fright in front of me the Hitman dropped back to back jumpers...all the way back from the free throw line! It was awesome, I knew the basketball gods were smiling down on us.

Brian Cardinal just dropped back to back three's on us. I get a weird feeling when I see him. Perhaps it is because he makes me think of Adam Keefe.

Okay, so they don't look a lot alike, but their styles are similar.

AK-47 was a one man band tonight. Thanks Jerry for pulling him right before he gets a triple double. Seriously? I was so bugged. Jazz finaly get the blow-out they have been so deserving of. Must have learned something from Coach Whittingham.

Final Score: Jazz 118 Grizzlies 94

Number of times Brian Cardinal whispered to Larry H. Miller "I would be a great fit on this team" as he ran up the court: 6

Jazz Vs. Sonics Recap

You will get award winning analysis from C.B. Jack later but for now I am going to give you my take on last nights ugly win against the "Soon to be Oklahoma" Sonics.

1st Half:

Pathetic. My team had less turnovers at Lifetime Fitness Thursday Morning*. If we commit half the turnovers we did, we have the game signed, sealed and delivered in the first half. Well, maybe not, but at least I wouldn't have the ulcers I do now. Did I say ulcers? I meant shingles.

*No, we still had more turnovers but for the sake of a good comment I lied. My apologies.

2nd Half:

Lucky. Honestly, how did we win that game. I've never walked away from a win with the same feeling as you do with a loss but last night I did. In fact, when we lose, I rarely watch ESPN the next day and I did the same thing with this victory. Had it not been for Kirilenko's phantom block on Durrant we go into overtime and the Supersonicas ride the momentum home.

Misc. Thoughts: C.B. Jack said it perfect when he said if you saw footage of PJ Carlesimo (not going to spell check that) last night as well and footage of PJ in 1972, it would look exactly the same. Someone buy that man a suit that was made in the last decade and throw in some eye glasses that are smaller than four feet in diameter.

Misc. Pictures:

Uhh, what is this guy doing with his life (Robert Swift). Aparently somewhere between his rookie year and now, he signed a contract with the Devil and Rage Against the Machine.

2007-2008 Season (Above) Rookie Year (Below)

11.9.07 Jazz @ Sonics

1st Half

This had better be a blowout. Jazz are playing good, but where did Carlos Boozer go the entire 2nd quarter? I wondered if there was an unseen injury for a second. That or he had to lay some serious pipe.

Have you ever seen a rookie fire up so many shots in your life? I bet the vets want to kick him in the arse.

New topic: Robert Swift. This is the reason the NBA doesn't allow high school kids to come into the NBA anymore. I wonder what his parents think when they watch him. "Where did we go wrong Nancy...where did we go wrong?" Daddy Swift.

Rookie Year:

4th year in the league after 3 injury plagued seasons:

Talk about sad. This is what you call "Upside" or "Potential".

2nd Half

Sonics are keeping the game close and it's getting to the point that I'm nervous. There crowd of 15,980 (8,065 actually showed up) is starting to get into the game. Seems like Deron is taking a fit. Perhaps that is because he is getting destroyed by Delonte West (abused with an ugly stick and a perma cold sore stick when he was young)

Well Memo may have just won us the game. How? Did you see how he filled the lane and made Durant adjust so Andrei could get a piece of the ball? Nice play by Memo. Truth is, he was just to lazy to put his arms up. I hate games like this. I just can't figure out why the Jazz can't finish the deal with some of these 'weaker' teams. We need to get some killer instinct on this club. Where is Bill Belichek when you need him (Jazz would have won by 56 pts.).

Final Score: Jazz 103 Sonics 101

Nibs eaten by Halle in the first quarter: 37

Jazz Celebrity @ Wal-mart

What's with the celebrity run ins Boler.Jack? First JSlo and then Pace "The UTE" Mannion? The biggest Jazz name I ever met was Antoine Carr @ Wal-mart in Springville! Yep, the "Big Dog" was at the grand opening of Wal-mart in Springville back in the day! (Not to get confused with the other "Big Dog" that played for Milwaukee). He really faded after the Jazz got rid of him! I was the only person to actually go up and get excited about seeing him! Many people were around his table but had no idea who he was! I think most the attention he drew was because most people in Utah County have never seen an African American man! That was a big day in big ole' Springville, a Wal-mart and "The Big Dog"

Wins a Win

My favorite part of the game was when Brewer was about to shoot free throws and that dux bag wouldn't let him walk up to the line. Then brewer drained them both. I bet his butt was puckering at the line.
Did any of you see D-Will face after he made that last shot ? I love Deron but I hope I never see him make that face again. Go Jazz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here is a link to Derons game winning layup http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8DcRGWGq01k

11.8.07 Mitch @ Riverbend w/ Pace

1st Half

I went and played Riverbend this morning by myself. It was great. I think I shot a 34 (there may have been some second and third shots in there). Had a great round and it was a beautiful day.

2nd Half

As I was walking to my car I saw a large white man. It was none other than Utah Jazz pre and post game commentator Pace Mannion. I told him about our blog and he said he would bring it up on the next Pre-Game show. I don't think I believe him. His buddy took a picture for me.

Pace was really nice. He asked me how I played (which I lied about of course) and how the course was playing. I was impressed with how down to earth he was. Not like he is a super celebrity, but I would consider him a local sports celebrity.

Final Score: Mitch 41 (With 6 Mulligans) Pace 37 (I took a few strokes off because he was just so cool about the whole thing)

Jazz Cavs Recap

The best way to describe that game is Phewwww! I kind of fell like the Jazz got away with one, thank goodness LeBron is a head case at the line or we loose that game. Speaking of Bron-Bron, somebody needs to get that cat to pee in a cup. Dude is HUGE and I would be willing to bet that it is not all from hard work in the gym.

Stat of the night: D-Will minutes - 45
J-Har minutes - 3

Game ball goes to: Coach Sloan - for realizing that the Hitman Hart should not be getting more that 3 minutes per game. He also let Ron Brewer play more minutes and was rewarded with 5 steals and fairly good defense on LBJ when he had him.

Honorable mention game ball goes to: The Paper Boy -Thank you Paul Millsap for playing like an all-star last night.

I really like the upcoming schedule for the Jazz and pretty much think we should win 7 or 8 of the next 10 games.

11.7.07 Jazz vs. Cavaliers

1st Half

Word of the Half: Turnover. Definition as per the WNBA: Loss of ball, either through an errant pass (D-Will) or dribble (Hitman Hart) or an offensive foul (Boozer).www.wnba.com/about_us/glossary.html

Cavs are sitting with 13 TO's while the Jazz have posted an amazing 10 TO's in the first half. That's not bad for the Jazz you say. You're right, but 6 of those are courtesy of D-Will. He is trying to do too much. Good think we don't have many nationally televised games because our guys go AND1 out there and start streetballing. Deron is also shooting 1-7, and 0-2 on 3's. Utah is still in this game thanks to great free throw shooting and one Paul Millsap. I hope the 2nd half is better and Utah can pull away. They should be up by at least 10 the way Bron Bron is shooting. Let's cross our fingers.



2nd Half



Why can't we shake these guys? Deron seems to have picked it up, but his shot is just not falling tonight.



Bron Bron is coming on and I'm sticking to my prediction of Jazz by 4, but it could be closer (prediction verified by Cody Nesbit). Lebron just hit an amazing 3 with Brewer in his face, only to be out done by D-Will and his game winning lay-up.
Deron wanted the ball. I love how Jerry has the confidence to let him run with it. I like when coaches do that because very seldom do you see the defense recover in that situation. Well, I'm off to take some blood pressure medicine. A good and much needed win for the Jazz. The schedule looks really favorable for about the next 8-10 games. We should make a good run. Remember, every win that is accompanied by a Denver loss is huge for us. I almost wanted to delete all of my Deron hating in my 1st Half post, but we have to keep it honest.

Final Score: Jazz 103 Cavaliers 101

Mitch's Blood Pressure: 150/90

This Guy is a Fluke

There is no such thing as this so called "DJ Mbenga." As you can see this is a distorted picture of Donyell Marshall. Many naysayers believe he is a real guy and actually a cousin to Shrek, however, Fox 13 is reporting there is no physical evidence of one DJ Mbenga.

On an unrelated note, wouldn't Earl Boykins be a better fit than Jason "the Hitman" Hart? He owned the Jazz every time we played him....or was that on EA Sports NBA Live 2006? Either way, he is still a better fit.

This just in

So, I am trying to kill some time down here in S-Ville and I start to do some research for the blog and I come across this little nugget of gold. Keith McCleod is currently unemployed and available to be picked up by the Jazz. Not only is he available, he is the 8th best player available on the market. Check out this link - http://insider.espn.go.com/nba/insider/columns/story?columnist=sheridan_chris&page=Unemployed-071107&lpos=spotlight&lid=tab1pos1.

Brock's First Run-In with J.C.

Hope that headline caught your attention. While we are on the subject of Jarron Collins I thought I would bring up my first run in with the third string Jazz Man himself.
Many of you do not know this but in my younger days I was the Sports Editor for the Globe, Salt Lake Community College's school paper. I had the opportunity to cover the 2002 Rocky Mountain Review. The best part was the fact that I got to wear my credentials and go back in the locker room, sit on the front row etc. Well, I thought they were worth something until I noticed the janitors 12-year old son had the same credentials I did.
Anyhow, after the game I went into the locker room and tried to figure out who I would interview, what I would say, etc. etc. In walks Jarron Collins, so I walk up to him and say, "Hey Jarron, do you have I minute?" To which he said, "why?" This was off to a great start. Then I told him I just wanted to ask him a few questions about the review for the SLCC newspaper. "Who are you?" Jarron said. I tried to make it sound like I had any credibility at all. It was not looking good at all, in fact, I was praying that someone else would cut in and take over or I would pass out etc. But I pulled it together just like Bob Costas would and gathered enough info for an award winning article. Here is my interview with Jarron Collins:

"...Sure these teams want to win and the players want to prove themselves, but the Rocky Mountain Review was also a time to get out there and have fun. "I enjoy being out there and it's a good opportunity to play with a lot of new guys," said Jazz center Jarron Collins. The Review was also a good opportunity for fans to come out and watch future stars of the NBA without having to take out a loan from the bank. The price of the Rocky Mountain Review: Five dollars a day...."

Thanks Jarron for putting a complete halt in any interest I had being a Sports Reporter/broadcaster. Good luck this season.
P.S. You must know you are not going to play because last time I saw you check into a game you ran to the table to check in, took your warm up pants off, some sort of wind breaker, a long sleeve Jazz Tee, and finally a short sleeve tee. Good night, does it get cold at the end of the bench. Do you want my mother-in-law to make you a Jazz Quilt or something to go on top of all that? Let me know.

We need a Hart transplant!

No Jazz game tonight, thank goodness. They need the day off to remember how to play defense. I hope that J-Slo puts them through about 120 minutes of hell for practice yesterday and today. No shooting the ball should be allowed, just drills to keep you in front of the player you are defending. I would also make Okur and Boozer take about 250 charges from Matt Harpring to toughen them up a little. Those two are non-existent on defense most of the time. I feel bad for AK trying to pick up the garbage that gets left behind there.

I am now on a quest to get Jason Hart kicked off the team, I have stats to back me up as well. Check out his on court vs. off court stats from 82games.com: http://www.82games.com/0708/07UTA2D.HTM. Basically this means that over the course of a game when the Jazz have 100 possesions we would lose by an average of 29.3 points if Jason Hart was in charge for those posessions. Just to hammer that point home even more if you compare him to D-Will whose on court vs. off court is a possitive 26.7 over 100 pessesions you would see that there is a diference of 56 points per game in production between the two. Both of the losses that the Jazz have had this year can be attributed to Jason Hart in some way. I know that it is a small sample size in games, but can we please try Ronnie for a few games. When the starters did not come on the floor at the begining of the 4th agains the Lakers they were down by 1. After 2 minutes they were down by 9 and the route was on.

During the next 3 day layoff for the Jazz I will look further into the abyss know as Jarron Collins. If you ever see Hart and Collins on the floor at the same time go and get some action from your wife, dog, aunt or some random hooker because the game is O-V-E-R over! The deficet that those two will put the Jazz in would be too big for the original Dream Team to overcome.

Not a Good Start for the Jazz

Here is the link to this weeks ESPN Power Rankings. We are not off to the best start. In fact, at this pace we will be rank 30th in about 5.3 weeks. Oh and just wanted you to know the media's obsession with Chris Paul still exists. Give the guy 20 games and he will be out for the year.

http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/powerranking?season=2008&week=1&lpos=spotlight&lid=tab1pos1

11.2.07 Jerry Sloan @ Chili's in Herriman

1st Half

While Amy and I were at dinner with Gentry and Betsy, everything seemed normal. The service was a little slow and we had to sit at in the bar section. I don't really mind this because it's as close as I'll ever get to going to a real bar. Makes me feel edgy. We just finished a chips and queso, not bad, but served a little cooler than I like. Then Amy starts kitty kat scratching me into my soul and I'm thinking 1. Her water just broke...even though she isn't pregnant or 2. She is so excited she can't talk. Next think I know she says "Look at who just walked in". There in the flesh was the 'Sultan of Swear' himself...Mr. Jerry Sloan. My heart began beating like a little girl in the middle of an N'SYNC concert. I felt my palms go sweaty and my cheeks started to burn. It really was Jerry Sloan...in Herriman (Technically Riverton, but you all know where my heart is). I almost made us all get up to give him our booth, but then I saw the wait and thought 'nah, he's not worth it'.

Immediately Amy asked for Betsy's camera to get a picture. I was torn. Should I have her go and interrupt his waiting in line for a table? Would he care? Would he get pissed and tell her to sit back down at her bench? Finally Betsy and Gentry convinced her to go and take the picture.

Jerry wasn't very happy. He didn't look like he was going to give in until his wife came back from the restroom and he said 'sure'. The picture is a little blurry, but certainly blog worthy.

2nd Half

Amy just came back to the booth. I have begun slow heavy breaths so I can prepare myself to order. Gentry and Betsy officially think I am insane. I am embarrassed, yet completely fulfilled. We go on with our dinner and as we are walking out I had to go to the restroom. Of course I had to pass by his table. I was just about to exit the restaurant when Gentry passed me going the other way and simply said "watch this". I followed Gentry with my eyes and as he approached Jerry's table I saw a flash go off that filled the restaurant. There was his sidekick Betsy standing OUTSIDE of the Chili's taking a picture of Gentry as he walked by the legend.

Quickly the Chili's went into celebrity lock down procedures. The manager and a server darted to Mr. Sloans side to protect him from anymore unsolicted photos. Gentry then came back by the restroom and was met by the manager and a SL County Sheriff. He was quickly frisked (and he smiled) and released. Okay, that part didn't happen, but I had to keep it interesting.We had done it. We had officially ruined Jerry Sloans dinner experience. I don't think that Chili's will ever get a celebrity to go in there again. Except maybe when Axel and Bruce Hardy come to town.

Final Thoughts:

It was a great experience. I'm hoping that we all have some more random Jazz experiences this season. This is what blogging is truly about. Keep a camera with you at all times, or at least your camera phone. Don't be afraid to confront players in public. It might ruin their night, but it will make for one heck of a blog post.

Final Score: Gentry, Betsy, Amy, Mitch 2 Jerry Sloan 0

The Season Is Offically Over !!!!!

Where is Dee Brown when we need him? If I remember correctly he was a heck of alot better than Hart is or will ever be.He is a turnover machine and kills the flow of the game. I realize that he isn't the only reason we lost the game. We need to attack the basket more and learn how to box out. I know it's a long season but 2-2 at this point sucks. I hope they get up for the king and come ready to play.Watch for Boozer to go off for 30 at least. My prediction Jazz 112 Cavs 95

Second Story Boys

I know it's a few days old not but I just wanted all of you to benefit from the halftime show I witnessed at the Houston game. I could not find footage from the actual performance that night so I You Tube'd it so you could witness where it all started. It was one of those performances that made you sit in awe, not due to greatness, but more like, am I really witnessing this?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uebX_6Anhw4

Typical Laker Fans

I thought you guys might like this picture from last nights game. Sit down old man (and I'm not talking to Jerry).

11.4.07 Jazz @ Lakers

Let's keep this short and honest.

Jazz simply didn't come to play. This game was sloppy from the get-go. I am realizing that the Jazz defense is poor at best. They have given up a lot of points already this season. I don't have time to look up the stats, but I am guessing they are giving up well over 100+ a game. I agree with Brock in that we shot nothing but long jumpers all night while LA was getting lay up after lay up. Deron played well, but for about three minutes of the game, he was a scrub compared to Farmar. Farmar is much quicker than I recalled. He will have a good season.

The game lacked emotion. Quiet arena. Poor execution by both teams. In the end it was a forgettable loss and a mediocre win. I am disappointed with the Jazz sitting at 2-2 at this point. There was no real reason they shouldn't have won this game and been 3-1.

Final Score: Jazz 109 Lakers 119
What the score felt like: Jazz 56 Lakers 61

When Did We Trade Fisher?

Sorry for the lack of comments over the past game or so. Something about two kids, the shingles and IBS never equls a lot of time to sit at the computer...but my thoughts have been with the Jazz for sure....well that and my Pats taking out Indy today in a thriller. 9-0!
Anyhow, we just wrapped up the first half and I thought I would put my two cents in. Although sloppy, I thought we finished pretty strong. I love when Ron-Ron plays and what is the deal with Boozers passing? Lovin' it. Is there a team in the league that shoots more 15-18 footers that the Jazz? The good news is we are hitting them tonight, but honestly, who shoots that shot? If you shoot that shot in a pick up game don't you have to take your own ass out? Oh well, if it's working, why not huh?
Well, here's to the second half and my oxy-cotin kicking in. Chances are I will be out like a light before I ever get a chance to hear the Subway Sub of the Game. I will have to make my final comments tomorrow morning. Hopefully we are 3-1 by then. Goodnight boys.

Final thoughts on game 3

Not much to say about the game that has not already been said, good game all around for the Jazz. I wish we could play the Warriors every other game season. I am going to go out and buy the URL www.releaseJasonHartandplayamonkeyinsteadwewouldbetteroffthatway.com. I get that little pukey feeling in my throat every time I see him come into the game. These are his stats for the year - http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/players/profile?playerId=0312. Tuly disgusting. Lookig forward the showdown with LA today.

Jazz are BAAACK!

Just as I suspected Jazz are playing in mid season form. The Jazz offense coudn't have been better... exept for the fact that they are still playing Jason Hart. Their defense on the other hand has left something to be desired. I know J-Slo likes to play percentages while guarding the 3- point line, but things need to change when you are playing a 3-point shooting offense. My favorite play of the game was the in-bounds play where AK got the ball at the top of the key and alley-ooped (sp?) to D. Will for the easy 2. I love the fact that the Jazz are so athletic. It is a nice change from the old stiff Jazz. They are actually fun to watch. See you in LA.

11.3.07 Jazz vs. Warriors

1st Half
The Jazz are playing like they still have their warm-ups on. I do have a feeling they're going to come back, but right now they are like the high priest at church ball who starts really slow, but suddenly is dropping shots 4 feet behind the arc by the 3rd quarter. Just to fit in with the crowd here, I hate Baron Davis. Seriously, I hate him. Look for my soon to be released NBA All-Hate Team. Let's just say we have already played against two of the starters.
Jazz just played an amazing 2nd quarter. I did notice Giri's agent come down and whisper in his ear "Dude, this is your contract year. You should start acting like you are a part of this team".

12 points later, Giri is on fire.

2nd Half
I don't know the exact stats, but I think I just witnessed 12 straight makes between the two teams. One of the best displays of shooting I've seen in a while. Not one of the best displays of defense on the other hand.

This game is getting way too close for comfort. Al Harrington...let's break him down. First of, his name: Al (no offense Big Al). What is it short for? Albert? Alfonso? Allah? There is not way his name is just Al. He was probably born in Alabama, but his parents couldn't figure out the birth certificate form and put AL on the first name line instead of the state line. I want to say he is having a good game, but it seems is just getting a lot of really open shots. I'm giving the Jazz lack of defense the credit for his offensive performance tonight. BTW Biedrins will always be Andrei's little brother to me. He trys so hard to be like Andrei. Crazy hair, bad shot selection, the whole bit. I bet he has a mail order bride from his homeland that looks like a cheap version of Masha...if there is a cheaper version out there?

D-Will just basketball bitch slapped Baron Davis tonight. It was like the Junior class stud de-pantsing the super-senior has been superstar. Loved every minute of it. I am predicting Deron will average around 20 -22 a game this season. I hope Boozer enjoyed his day off by the way. In blow-outs like this, I want to see one starter begin shooting with their opposite hand, just to see if it gets close.

Final Thoughts
A blow out, just like Brock predicted. (and I'm not talking about his night on the porcelein throne.) Nice win for the Jazz. They are the true Anti-Warriors in this league. Similar to how the Jazz feel about Spurs I would guess. Did anyone notice how in the post game Giricek was literally begging the Warriors to pick him up next year? He was vomiting compliments about the GS offense and how much fun it would be to play in a set like that. It really bugged me, yet at the same time, I was relieved to hear him talk about leaving the Jazz. That will clear up some cap space so we can sign Jason Hart to a 4 year $19m deal next June.

Keep in mind Gentry and I ran into Jerry "J-Slo" Sloan at Chili's in Herriman last night. Pictures and story are to come. I'm just waiting for G to figure out how to email them to me.

See you boys tomorrow night from LA.

Final Score: Jazz 176 Warriors 110

First half thoughts on the Jazz v. Warriors part 2

When did the Warriors turn into the Bakersfield Jam of the D-League? "They are the suckiest sucks to ever suck" - H. Simpson. That was a complete disaster for them in the first half.

Jazz Playoff Reunion Continues

Not sure if I have mentioned this before, but I hate Baron Davis. Baron comes into tonights game averaging 23.5 pts a game and 10.5 assists. That's not all though, on top of being a Dux, Baron brings a whiney attidtude and a love affair with officials. Look for Baron to get a handful of cheap fouls and about ten handfuls of cries and complaints. Thank the lord we don't have to deal with Stephen Jackson as well.
Although I am still upset with the Jazz, over their lack-luster performance against the Rockets, they can make things better with a double digit victory over Nelly and the boys for Golden State. My prediction. Jazz win 108-92.

Go Jazz. I will try and comment during the game tonight but I will be at a wedding. One of my wifes college roomates is getting hitched so I will be spending the night sitting in the corner hiding from all of her old college boyfriends....who happen to have a lot in common with T-Mac, Kobe, Boozer, etc. etc. if you catch my drift.

The season is over !!!!

Dear Jazz
1. Hart sucks(just because you signed him doesn't mean you have to play him.)
2. Play Brewer the entire game!
3.Send Collins to the Starzz.
4. kill Tracy Mcgrady.
5. Never give up.

Thoughts on the Rockets vs. Jazz

I think there were two factors that lead to the loss for the Jazz last night. 1st - The bench absolutely sucked, even Paul Millsap was horrible. Only Matt Hapring looked ready to play and that old man can only play for 5 minutes at a time. Giricek is already on his post season vacation, Collins is a stiff and Jason Hart needs to get sent down to the D-League immediately. I would seriously just let AK or Ronnie Brewer be the back up point guard right now. 2nd - Tracy MacGrady was unstoppable last night. I dont even think that the defense was that bad on him, he was just having one of those games. When it is all said and done that game obviously meant more to the Rockets than the Jazz and that is kind of pathetic for them. The Rockets were treating this like game 8 of the playoffs and the Jazz bench treated it like game 2 of a long season.

The English language by Ron Boone

This message is honor of the great Ron Boone and his version on the English Language. First up is the name Dikembe Mutumbo. Somehow the "D" in Dikembe has turned into a "M" as in Mikembe Mutumbo.

11.1.07 Houston @ Utah

1st Quarter
Boozer opened the game with a "hey remember me Yao" dunk. It's Electrifying! The Jazz offense just doesn't click with Jason Hart running the point. Does anyone know what Delany Rudd is up to? Hart is a flopper too, and a bad one at that.

I think Tracy McGrady has a distict advantage over his opponents. By strategically using the lazy eye God cursed him with, he is able to deceive his defender in to thinking he is going two ways at once. I'd like to see an investigation into his eye. He should wear a patch that he can see out of okay, but people can't see in. That would be wicked cool on the court.

Jazz have held on despite Booz having 2 fouls and Deron leaving with 5 minutes. Bonzi and Mike James have made this a much better Houston team.
Score: Jazz 29 Houston 24

2nd Quarter
I just saw a graphic showing Mark Eaton as the #4 all-time blocks leader. I just threw up a little in my mouth. Of course Brandon Sluga was 7th on that same list.
I love the NBA's "Where.....Happens" commercials. Although just to change it up and make a commercial with Donaghy that says "Where 'oh shiz' happens". Or one with Ron Artest holding a 9mm that says "Where 'and you thought the NFL had problems' happens'".

Text from Brock: Does Sloan hate Brewer or something? Put him in dummy! I am so pissed right now.

CJ Miles just checked in. I just checked out. See you at halftime.
Score: Jazz 49 Houston 57

3rd Quarter
Jazz started the quarter with rhythem, now the CD is just skipping. Music analogies never get old.
I keep waiting for Gordon Giricek to come into the game and be wearing a Rockets jersey to see if Sloan notices. He just blends into the court sometimes. Perhaps a mustache would help him stand out a little.

Can't post. too mad.

4th Quarter
Jazz looking to make a push, only to be met by Tracy McGrady and his 7 inch wagging finger. I hate him. I'm serious, I really hate him. CJ Miles just got a foul with 5 minutes to play. I'm sure Jerry was like 'what the? who put him in the game?' CJ looked at the bench like he had just got caught sneaking on the floor. Prediction: McGrady has 52 tonight.
McGrady just took 7 steps to get to the basket. This is beginning to look like church ball.

Well it's over, and I'm glad. Poor showing by the Jazz bench tonight. I'm telling you, the Rockets are going far this year. I hate them, but they are a deep team. Nah, forget that...Rockets suck.
Question: Have you ever seen anyone cry as much as Tracy McGrady?

Score: Jazz 95 Houston 106

My new man crush

I think Ronnie Brewer should shorten his name to just Ron. It has a good porn star name quality to it. His first movie tag line could be - "Don't miss Ron Brewer getting Double Teamed and doing some dunking!"

What happened to the Hitler stache?

We would like to welcome the seriously over-rated Houston Rockets to town tonight. Seriously why do they keep getting all the love from the national media? And, more importantly, when did their Rick Addleman shave off his Hitler stache?

Home Opener 11.1.07

I love this idea Mitch. Even if it just ends up being two or three of us. I will actually be at the game tonight so I will reply tomorrow morning. I will get some pics to go with my comments too. Go Jazz!

Utah Jazz Opener 10/30 @ Golden State

This is classic blogging via text message by us. p.s. this took 30 minutes. p.s.s. i was bored.

Brock: Did I just witness that?

Mitch: The Andrei Thing?

Brock: Yes with Gebhardt

Mitch: Classic

Brock: Are other markets this pathetic at stuff like that?

Mitch: I think so. Texting is so neat.

Brock: So is friendship.

Mitch: We are friends. We should watch Jazz together one day.

Brock: Indeed

Brock: I hate Baron Davis

Mitch: Me too. Queer.

Brock: Ron Boone: "...otherwise they will kick it out and shoot three pointer shots."

Mitch: I wish he would have shaved his tongue off along with his hair.

Brock: lol

Mitch: Where the "F" is quadalupe? Fake country.

Brock: You know that dux wearing the gold playoff tee thought everyone else was going to wear them and then quickly realized what a ball sack he looked like. Sorry Amy.

Mitch: lol. Talk about stabbing his own team in the back. 'We believe" the jazz handed us our asses last year. thanks pal. Love, pietrus, the guadalupean.

Brock: Don't let the door hit you in the ass Fisher, Giridux etc. Come on in Brewer! P.S. Dear Jazz guys, stop talking about that dunk.

Mitch: Fact: Brewer will tear his acl by halftime, goodbye season.

Brock: With no one guarding him.

Mitch: Tear it on a dunk mind you.

Mitch: after a foul, just showing off

Brock: exactly..after a whistle.

Mitch: Same game Deron trips leading the team out on the court and is out 50 games with turf toe.


Brock: Is it Just me or does harpring act like he is working three times harder than he actually is?

Brock: Buy two games and get a hot dog. Eff you Larry H. Miller. Eff You...........make it a corn dog and I will do it.

Mitch: With a Churro

Brock: Good to know the refs are still sleeping with Baron.

Brock: "Isn't there usually an after trimmer or something."

Mitch: Is this the nba or tlc? Earthquake duxes

Mitch: Loved the Bud Light commercial. We should just be im'ing

Brock: I wonder if my account from Glyphics still works.

Mitch: Do you have Gmail? Welcome to 2007. Get one

Mitch: Who in the "f" brings their baby to sit front row behind the opposing bench

Brock: (me whistling)

Mitch: Lol
Brock: Nice hair Hudson. Are he and Troy Palamalu together?

Brock: Who is our little black Preston J with his long sleeve tee tucked into his shorts.

Mitch: I heart Paul

Brock: I would leave Kristin for him......what?

Mitch: lol
Mitch: 2 for me yes please

Brock: Giricek has the same look as an employee who knows his ass is fired but the boss hasn't told him yet.

Mitch: Casey at iLinc.

Brock: lol lol

Brock: Kirilenko: you dribble ball and see me then pass. Milsap: w.t.f

this is where you either: a. fell asleep. 2. got sick of it. or III. ran out of your monthly allotment of text messages.